Friday, September 17, 2010

an odd sort of request


As a disclaimer, I am writing this post directly after reading this morning’s newspaper. I usually avoid this activity (for obvious reasons, which you are probably about to realize), but one of the articles caught my eye and I found myself reading it, jaw dropped. After I read it, I was bothered, upset, and deciding just how reactive I should get. And then my coworker asked me if I had heard this particular story and told me in more detail about the interviews she had seen on the TV news (something I never watch) in reaction to this event. At this point, I started seething. I feel as though there are shards of glass in my mouth. This post is me spitting them out. Be warned. I am vehemently angry.

In Pitt Meadows last weekend, at a party, a 16 year old girl was drugged and gang raped by as many as 7 males. The story is obviously a prominent one considering the circumstances. And my thoughts today aren’t even regarding the fact that this video (because yes, someone f*cking videotaped it) is being uploaded and spread viral on the internet via facebook; that the police can’t even take the videos down as fast as they are being put back up. What I reacted to this morning were the thoughts that are being expressed by quite a few of the boys they are interviewing (that were not necessarily directly involved, but were at the party).

“She was asking for it.”

This comment has been said often enough in response to this news story to disturb and disgust the very core of me. I have heard, at some point in my lifetime, that there were people in this world who believed that it was possible to justify the rapist. But when I heard about those people, it was almost in theory; as in “you know, there are actually people who believe in the eventual world domination of the termite.” But now…there are actually young men saying these things in public? On record? Because they actually really truly think that way?

The interviews with teenage boys have been numerous since last week and these interviews, combined with the viral nature of the video, warrant a hard, detail oriented look at the "why" behind the way this situation is playing out. What kind of trend in our current society and culture causes these boys (and other men) to justify, at all, this event? What is it that excuses (in their minds) their acts of violence and blatant disrespect for other people? How are they able to excuse themselves? Because rape is not excusable. Your penis is not a sceptre; you are not a king because you have one. Who, or what, is telling these young men that if a woman should exhibit behaviour A B or C that she is asking for it? No woman asks to be raped. Anybody who holds this opinion of a rape victim is an arrogant and braindead piece of shit. Disagree? Let’s dance.


Abbi said...

I am a survivor. (Note: I am NOT a victim any longer. I CHOOSE to be a survivor.) And what those boys are saying, is EXACTLY what the @$$ said in court about my case. I was drugged as well b/c apparently the @$$ couldn't do it without me being drugged. "Wasn't man enough" is the words he used.

Damn straight he wasn't. I would've kicked his @$$ before he even had a chance to touch mine.

Thank you for speaking up. There's not many out there that will anymore.

.................................................................. said...

"asking to be raped", is by definition an oxymoron. Therefore there can be no such thing as "asking for it". Someone who thinks and professes otherwise, let alone watches, or at the very least does nothing to try and stop it, should be punished just as much as those who committed the crime. BTW I don't think that this mentality is a trend, it has been around since the dawn of time: women are not valued by society. Sadly that has been demonstrated over and over through out history.

Mama said...

Thank you for posting this. I heard about it as I was driving today. I have no words. Only that I want to strangle every one of those pigs that were involved. And the pond scum that are posting it should be thrown into prison along with the rapists.

Ang said...

This is so interesting. Last week I was taking my baby out of my car about 10pm at night in front of my apartment. I heard three loud drunk sounding guys walking down the sidewalk towards me. I honestly didn't think anything of it. (I'm sort of used to loud and drunk people) As they approached one of them said loud and clear about me, "should we rape her" to his friends. "Har har", his friend said "don't joke about that" and as they passed by one said "hey" to me.

I assure you, I was not asking for it!!!!!! I was a young sweatshirt wearing MOM getting out her infant from the car. Needless to say I was livid. I have never wished I knew martial arts more. I wish I could have looked them in the eyes and said "excuse me?!?!". But obviously I was so scared for my baby all I could do was ignore them. Not fair, not cool, and so unjust to the core.
I think what really floored me the most was that this guy could say rape so easily. It made me think I wouldn't have been the first one. Cause what son, brother or friend would think of doing that (especially to a mom with her baby).
In this news story the thing that is so amazing to me is how the crime keeps being repeated by the kids that continue to pass the images on. It's not just one boy with issues, it's a culture and a society. Hurts my heart.