Monday, January 31, 2011

Dentist McDreamy

I think I might be one of the few people on earth who actually enjoys going to the dentist. It’s not the fillings I like, or the paste filled trays, or the drilling (oh, the drilling). It’s the dentist. The brown-eyed-stud in a button down shirt, who is cute as a buttermilk biscuit and just as sweet. Judge me all you want: I have a crush on my dentist. While there are a few reasons it’s a good idea to be so enamoured with the guy – I get to gaze at him all I want while I’m there and it isn’t weird (he is, after all, a mere 12-inches from my face...and I’m wearing sunglasses) – for the most part, it’s a highly inoperative idea. So, I’ve come up with a list. For your perusal, here are the Top Ten Reasons it is Impractical to have a Crush on your Dentist:

10. You only get to see him once every 6 months, more if you’re diligent and inventive. Hardly enough time to foster a passionate love affair.

9. Dentist appointments don’t count as dates. Even if you dress up and put on perfume.

8. Did the guy fit you for your night guard? Yah. He’s probably not thinking about kissing that mouth.

7. He's filled your cavities and gently lectured you about your flossing habits. See #8.

6. He works in an office filled with beautiful women at his beckon call all day....patient who?

5. Although he passed the Ring Test, he used "we" in a sentence when you asked him about his holidays.

4. He’s too good a dentist to switch him for the other guy – which means you’d have to violate the Dentist/Patient code of ethics to date him, and he would have to violate the Dentist/Patient code of ethics to ask you out. It’s a fruitless venture.

3. You remember that time his face got really close to your face, and you could smell his cologne, and see the definition of his shoulder muscles through his crisp button down shirt? He was assessing the plaque on your molars….see #8.

2. Flirting with a half frozen face proves difficult. Believe me, I’ve tried.

1. He is your dentist.


Hoola said...

Write another book. You're hilarious :)

And...stranger things have happened. You're totally worth breaking the Dentist/Patient code of ethics!

Anonymous said...

you are a bad a$$ mother*ucker. who wouldnt want to break dentist/patient code...see urban dictionary for proof.

Mama said...

Hahaha. By the way, see the following:

I would totally break rules for you and so would he if he knew you at all. Hoola is right. :o)

anita said...

Well, so far it seems that 4 out of 4 commentators (including me) support a total violation of the code of ethics shmethics. What is there not to love about you?? I haphazard even your plaque is irresistible. And who knows, he could find mouth guards incredibly sexy...

Colleen Taylor said...

I had a crush on a dentist for awhile. He put a crown in my mouth and he was ca-ute!