Thursday, January 27, 2011

dinner date required


So the best news of the day so far…nay, the year, is that I am not going to be forced to live in my car for 2011! Okay okay, I am being a tad dramatic (it’s my favourite kind of flair); and because I haven’t really given the context as of yet, I imagine that I am worrying those of you who might worry about such things. Here is the context: on a particularly bad Monday (last week), at the end of a particularly bad day (last Monday), I ended up behind a young driver as we attempted to merge onto the highway. Long story short (a long story only because of all the HESITATING), I hit him. It wasn’t a bad hit, but it was still a hit, and if you remember where my head was last week (stuck in the bowels of a sunless existence), you can imagine how well I adjusted to the surprise of my bumper beneath his bumper; I made it almost the whole way through the info-trade without crying! Yay me. Poor kid, just trying to get home and he ends up standing on a busy street corner with a sobbing, lip-quivering weenie. I drove home and turned myself in to ICBC dial-a-claim (I might have their number on my speed dial. Just saying it’s a possibility), trying to do some crazy "sometimes people find suitcases full of dollars" math in my head. Once on the phone with the girl on the other end, I was informed that should I have this claim filed against me, my yearly car insurance would go up to ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

Or, it would not go up to one million dollars – but the sum total of my potential yearly car insurance would be enough that it felt as bad as a million dollar payment might feel. Insert more snivels and salty tears and wobbly phone calls to my mom.

But! The story doesn’t end there! No no. I just got a text message from Sir Whitetruck, and praise be to the high heavens, there’s nothing wrong with his vehicle! No claim will be filed! And, relief.

As an act of celebration, I’ve texted Chelsea and asked to borrow the pink suede sweetheart/vixen dress I found for her at Value Village a couple years back. It’s a gem, a delight of a dress; the kind of thing you might wear if you found out you did not owe The Man one million dollars (or the feelings-equivalent of such an amount). A few pins and tucks and it should fit my pre-surgor’d-Kate-Hudson figure with ease. Now all I need is a strapping gentleman to pick me up at 6 next Thursday and pay for my dinner.


Anonymous said...

Your writing is genius. Pure genius.


Mama said...

That is awesome news. I laughed out loud at the "sobbing, lip-quivering weenie" phrase. You kill me. And I can't wait to meet that strapping gentleman.

Sharelle said...

this is such a delightful story.

one that makes me believe i might get a call from the ICBC man tomorrow to hear that i don't owe him $1800.

oh, it might be unlikely, but possible since it has happened to you.

and def. a reason to celebrate! if you can't find that strapping man, i'll take you to moby dicks. how about it?

elizabeth said...

uh, i have said dress. it is amazing, and you will KILL in it. let's connect as i hang my head in shame for borrowing your dress without asking?

afterthoughtcomposer said...

H- thanks love!

Mama- if you didnt read my blog i would cry

sharelle- you realize the odds here, right, are that we're gonna be at mobys on thursday? :)

liz! Good God yes, lets hang out. I havent seen you in a decade, and I want to. Lets plan something. Ps. The dress actually IS chels'. I found it but seeing as Im figureless, thought it might fit her better :) i LOVE that its been getting worn!! No shame required.

Mama said...

Aw, you're sweeeeet. And you are NOT figureless. Heavens.
Oh, and I want to see pics of you in that hot little number.