Tuesday, November 1, 2011

candy calm

happy halloween - pinterest.com

One year ago today, you may remember that I was jostled (jostled!) while shopping for Candy. My rookie mistake was that I went at 8am. Everyone goes for 50% off candy at 8am. This year, I got smart. I phoned the store in advance to check what time they opened. 6am. I got there 5 minutes early. I waited outside the doors in the dark and cold of fall, eyeing the dozen-and-a-half-or-so patrons that had gathered there before me. I realized upon arrival that this was serious business; if you want to get yourself some 50% off Halloween candy, you've got to treat that candy like a Cabbage Patch Doll or IPod26 and get your butt to the store on time....nay, before time even has a chance to start.

Pleasantly, I did not get jostled at all this year. Nary a glance or limb came my way as each of those present had their eyes on chosen favorites - the old man who seemed to favor chips, for example, or the teenage boys who had cleared the entire ROCKETS shelf into their basket. Personally, I beeline for the mini Caramilks and the Reese Peanut Butter Cups; I even managed to score a 270lb bag of mini Tootsie Rolls - all for the scant price of twelve dollars. There was only one small moment of tension, as an otherwise classy-looking lady stared me in the eye and pushed her cart into the exact spot I was standing (the silent, grocery store aisle version of "move, bitch") - but thankfully, I am swift on my feet and sidestepped her anxiety on time.

Now all I need to do is eat massive amounts of protein, so I don't get diabetes from all the sugar I'll be eating. Don't worry, I share.

.
.

4 comments:

anita said...

Um,
I like tootsie rolls..........


Call me.


:>

Mama said...

And, uh, so do I. Tootsie rolls are definitely a fave of mine. Maybe you should have thrown one into the eye of that classy looking lady.

afterthoughtcomposer said...

Mama: you're hilarious. I love you. I'll share my tootsie rolls with you and Anita any day.
a.

Mama said...

Oh thank you! It's a date then. The three of us.