Monday, December 26, 2011

all the winds and their changing


found on Pinterest under "wind"

So apparently I have a crush on photographs involving wind. Can't really get enough of them, to be quite frank. Perhaps it's the emotional timing, or the year that's ending and the one that's coming up, or all three. The pictures seem to capture what my insides are hoping for: beautiful, freedom giving change. What a year it's been. Heartache seemed to chase a good number of those in my daily circles throughout the past twelve months; whether it was the death of a loved one or the death of a relationship, a giant leap of faith or an unanticipated fall, 2011 was big for many of us.

I have been thinking a lot about what I would like 2012 to look like, as I'm sure has been the case with many of you. The past few years, for me, have been somewhat restrained, dream-wise. I was distracted and unsettled and hesitant about my ability to withstand failure. I continually tried to pre-plan a lot of the planning for the things I've been wanting to do (if that sounds convoluted; it is). Now though, I have an unmistakable sense of urgency within me to get on with it; partly because it needs to happen, and partly to show 2011 who's boss. To help get the process started, I have already started the processes (!). I've told people about my goals for 2012, even down to the embarassing-if-this-doesnt-pan-out specifics, and I've begun compiling tangible pieces of evidence that I am actually going to do something with my life. If you came to my house right now, for example, you would see my projects. Out. On the table and the living room floor and not in the back of a drawer. My dreams have begun to leak toward the outside of my head. It's quite fascinating to see this all play out.

Related to all of this, of course, is the realization I had today: It is January! Not really of course, but Christmas came so fast after April that January is definitely going to be here soon after December exits from view; and despite my best efforts, I am having a difficult time convincing myself that it's not actually January. I like to think I'm getting a leg up on the competition between me and the steady clock hand by being so ahead of myself. I have paused to see what's coming, after all. I have the blueprints pasted all over the walls; I have the sketches lining the pathway to my bed. I have actual goals. I am actually going to reach them.



1 comment:

Mama said...

I absolutely love this photo. It makes me want to pin an entire section on wind. Maybe I will.
And I hope I can follow your example, at least somewhat. I also hope I can somehow move on from the "I just want all of my children around me!" I pray I can get beyond my white-picket-fence dreams and cheerfully get on with reality.