Sunday, November 9, 2014

for you

the writer & the darling six.
thank you to Doliente Lifestyle Photography
for catching this moment.
You turned my heart into an open door. Step through when you need it. If life rips you out, I'll hem you in again.

There are paths that take us where we would not have chosen to go. I will choose these paths, again. Not because they are only good, or bad, but because they and what they hold are needed. Parenting, and I daresay life, isn't about reward. It isn't even about sacrifice; though both of those things come and are required. Down in the roots that bind us, we do these things for you.

We have always, and continue, to use big words with you because you are smart enough; we have defined them for you and helped you spell and marvelled at your brilliance. In a grander sense, Life will give you big words, too. Of the ones you encounter, you'll understand very few of them right away. Grace. Forgive. Respect. Friendship. Trust. I can't keep you from the pain of them, or how often they'll be taught, but I can show you what they mean by the way I treat you, others, myself.

So, I will give you what I have. Some days, it doesn't feel like much. Other days, it won't be. When you are older I will tell you more. You are young, so I will tell you this: I am and will be here. I didn't give you the gift of your life, but by God's grace, I get to receive it. In return, you get me. Open arms, no conditions, and everything I have, to glean from. Instead of your being, I will push out poems for you: words and actions you can live by. True things. Bricks you can build yourself up with, steps to stand on, so you can gain the perspective you need to live well. You have your Daddy's eyes. In my own way, I hope to give you something of mine, and join him in teaching you to be kind. At your mother's breast you fed and grew. In my own way, through soul and spirit, I can offer mine. What are you hungry for? I will search all I have to find it for you.

Life is a funny thing, dove. We've all got grief and elation in our souls, and our own unique reasons to spend them. Give yourself room to be sad and room to get over it. Be happy, even when no one else is. Learn how to be still, so when life quiets you and others, you can be a part of it. Fill the pockets of your heart with the good, the giddy, the gracious. Let the Bad Stuff teach you; let those lessons be the only marker. Hang on to your ability to fill a room with joy; you are so, so good at it. If the shoes don't fit, don't be afraid to say so. Embrace the rain: without it, we could never puddle jump. Hold on to the hands that will hold you when the world is shaking or when the world is dull. Let go of the hands that shake your world, let go of the hands who block your light. You are remarkable. Until and beyond the time you know these things, I'm for you.

the song for now: you were born, by cloud cult


Anonymous said...

Your words have touched my heart, mind and soul. Just beautiful! Thank you for sharing your gifts with us, and Darling six.

anita said...

Just when I think you may be one of the most beautiful people I know, you pull more beauty out of that hat of yours and silence me again. So glad you and 6 have each other. xoxo

Anonymous said...

Amazing insights into parenthood. Amazing love for and commitment to this little one who is not your own flesh. She is blessed to have you in her life, and so are we. Thank you~~

afterthoughtcomposer said...

Thank you all so much for your kind, thoughtful words.