I suppose it is fair to say that understanding is mainly for our own benefit. We are frustrated, we are confused, we don’t get it…and so we actively seek to understand. But what of situations that are not our own? Situations that effect us & wear on our emotions, but essentially have nothing to do with us…where is the boundary line for these situations? If you are hurting, if you decide and then move in a certain direction, and I don’t "get it"…where is my liberty? Are my rights the same as if it were my own state of mind?
No. I don’t think so.
There has to be, in certain cases, a forgoing of the will to be “in the know”. Personal matters are personal; I can not demand that you tell me every thought or motivation; nor can you demand this from me. I suppose the hardship comes, then, when we are trying to balance “But I love you” with “I respect your privacy”. We can not claim ownership over someone simply because we do not understand their decisions. We must be understanding, even when we do not understand. We must be a safe place for those we love, not a barrage of pointed questions.
It would be easy to decide I must mean that accountability is overrated or unnecessary – not at all! Accountability is a huge part of love. But accountability is not a form of attack; accountability has to be a gentle but firmly placed boundary line for the other person. To hold someone accountable is to remind them of the truth; not beat them over the head with a list of their faults. We hold people accountable because we love them. That being said, we have to trust that when a person says, “I am finished”, they actually mean it; that if they have said they’ve had enough [can take no more of our questioning]; they mean it. We must respect that. We can not trample in with righteous abandon and plough through the hearts of individuals (in Jesus’ name), and claim it is because we love them. We can speak the truth in love, though. That’s an entirely different approach.
I do not understand everything, and I (praise God!) was never asked to. I was asked to love.
Recently a good good friend, wise & gracious Jody, reminded me of something quite important. This is what she said:
1 Corinthians 13 (the love chapter) starts with "Love is patient..." NOT "Love is easy".
If the love chapter (the inspired word of God) tells us love has to be patient...then God
knew how hard loving someone would be...therefore he started the chapter reminding us
to be patient in our journey with others.
And this is where I leave you, I suppose; at Patience… at the truth that love is never easy, but it is necessary. Even if we can’t understand them.