Tuesday, June 22, 2010

happy mess

So this one time I decided that instead of counting all my faults and falls (so graciously pointed out to me by others) and tallying up my self-supposed inconsistencies with a bold, permanent marker, I would pay more attention to the good things about being alive. It’s not been easy, but it’s been very, very worth it. I suppose I expected that without Insecure Pretension or the Need to Please the Common Man I would fall apart or lose my identity – but in fact it’s been just the opposite: in letting go of all the ways I’ve failed you (girl in the mirror), I’ve never felt more planted. In deciding to be happy with the mess of my humanity I’ve never felt more folded up in Grace. The only sad part about dropping my carefully perfected mask is the shock I see in several of the faces around me; there are some who would prefer it if I stayed neatly inside their wildly tight-eyed opinions of how a girl should present herself to the world.

But, I digress, I can’t please everyone – and I’d much rather be alive while I’m living than die trying to meet an impossible standard.

A little while ago, a lovely friend sent a quote to another lovely friend, who then sent it on to me. I liked it so much I immediately and fervently wrote it out (in permanent marker) and tacked it to my cubicle wall – I look at it daily. It reads:

“…but if you hold back from plunging in, while anything enriching is on offer, then the alternative seems to me to be no more than dust and ashes, and a criminal squandering of being alive.”
~ Joanna Trollope ~

Ah, such a delicious use of the English language; what a good sentence to remember.



Marisa Midori said...

What a beautiful quote! Lovely illustration, too. Do you know who the illustrator is?

afterthoughtcomposer said...

hey Marisa! Thanks for the visit :)
The picture is from Max Lucado's children's book titled "you are special" - such a great story & the drawings are fantastic!!

Mama said...

This is awesome, I love the quote, I need to copy it out also. And I was going to ask about the illustration, it's fabulous.
Thank you.